Female. Fantasy.

I was having a discussion with a man about this subject that made me think a little deeper about … everything.  He was trying to get across to me just how difficult it is to navigate female sexual energy.  On the one hand women have this rape fantasy (his words) and on the other hand they don’t want to be touched.

So let’s start with an admission that I’ve not been nominated to speak for anyone – I have just reached a few conclusions that I think might be worthy of consideration.  What I am going to convey here is nothing to do with forcing – anything.

Simon is happily married to the love of his life or at least he’d always thought that the case but over the years the sexual connection has dwindled to single digits in a 12month period.  Simon sleeps in a different bedroom.  The sex they have is always the same – over and done with – for another couple of months.  Passion has well and truly left the home.

In every other area of their lives they are the best of friends but the whole sex issue has pushed that to the limit.  There is only so much rejection we can take.  Right? How can he not feel rejected? Men make love.  Women make deals.  Men really do get the rough end of the stick when it comes to this relationship stuff.  Is it their fault? Nope.  Does it fall on their women? Nope.

God, you’ll think me mad when I reveal my next thoughts.  I am not.  I am sad that men and women have got it so fucking wrong.  I am on the outside looking in but I was once married and I didn’t want to have sex with my man either.  What’s that about? Well, let me tell you.

We are brought up thinking that men and women have defined roles in this world.  Men are the bread winners.  Women take care of their men.  We can argue the point but one just has to look at where we are … men and women both unhappy with their lot.  Right? Well.  I have a couple of things I would like to share …

Women want their men to be fucking men.  Oh, how about that line? Does that make you feel a certain way? Women want their man to push them up against the wall, fingers finding their way inside while his mouth is on hers – we want you to take our breath away.  We really do.

There is a reason the movies show men and women tearing the clothes off each other as they trip into the bedroom.  We all kinda laugh at that shit – it doesn’t happen.  But.  Christ.  We wish it did.  We all want to feel that out of control passion where we can’t get enough … I know I do.  Why doesn’t Simon do this to his wife? Rejection.  Pure and simple.  Humiliation when she laughs at his audacity.  And is that really because he has given his power away over the years? Maybe.  I don’t know.

Confidence is such an aphrodisiac for women.  Why? Because a confident man isn’t going to give his power away.  He knows who the fuck he is and what he has to offer.  Right? Maybe.  I so enjoy when a confident man takes control of my body.  It is so sexy.

OK so this is a little convoluted but I will get there.  I know what I mean.  haha.  Reclaim your power seems to be the gist of it I suppose.  Stop letting these women who have long given up on you being the man in the relationship get away with this travesty.  Take control.

If I had my way I would sit with women who emasculate their men … they are missing out on someone amazing who could rock their fucking world.

The push and the pull … I need to think about this a little more.

I would love to hear from you if any of this resonates with you.  Email me : info@allessandrabrowne.co.nz xx